| Information |
 |
Please visit our resources page for links to many more books on these subjects and remember our hotline is available 24 hours a day 1-800-871-7741.
| Avoiding Date Rape |
|
"60% of college-aged males reported that they would use force in their sexual relationships with women if they were sure they would not get caught"
This Statistic is from 1994-1998. The fact is that one in three women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime.
Women must be assertive and say "NO " when they mean "NO. " Women have been raised to treasure people's feelings and that means not hurting them. Sadly, this also leads some women to stay quiet when/if they are in danger.
Assertiveness is different from rudeness (rudeness is Aggressive). Being assertive simply means saying directly and clearly what you want and mean. A simple "NO " can resolve most unwanted sexual touches. You could say:
- "Stop, please. I'm not enjoying this."
- "Get your hands off me."
- "I don't want to have sex."
- "I said "NO" and I mean "NO"."
Another difficulty is that many girls feel they should be in a relationship, mostly because of peer pressure or because of strong messages left by teen television shows. "Having a boyfriend is cool!" This might even keep them in an abusive relationship. Just remember:
being single is great too !
How do you know if your relationship is a good one? In a healthy relationship, your boyfriend will be a good listener and you will feel free to talk about your feelings with him. You will feel like his equal and not like his subordinate. You will laugh and have fun together and he will help you feel good about yourself. If you have a misunderstanding, he will want to work things out with you.
Signs of a bad relationship include jealousy or possessiveness, feeling bad about yourself, criticized or being picked on. In a bad relationship, your boyfriend often ignores or interrupts you. You don't trust your boyfriend and he may try to control you. He may even pressure you into staying in the relationship. He could be violent or frequently display anger. He may show contempt towards women such as calling them "bitches" or say things like "they should stay at home." He may be nice to you when you're alone but a jerk when his friends are around. If he forces you to have sex, get out of the relationship (at the very least. You should also talk to the police about the assault). Other bad signs are a guy who drinks too much or who likes to get stoned on drugs.
Remember: you don't have to date anybody. There is no law that says that you have to date. It's your heart and body. Treasure it and protect it. Think about sex and what it means to you. Decide what your values are and how far to go before you get in to a situation with your date. Listen to your feelings. If you just want to cuddle, say so ! You have the right to say "NO" to sexual contact. Any sexual contact without your permission IS a crime.
Here are some tips on avoiding date rape:
- Avoid parties or groups where alcohol or drug use is excessive. Studies show that 75% of date rapists, and 55% of the victims, have been drinking or using drugs.
- Avoid people who make you feel uncomfortable.
- If your going to a party, establish a buddy system with a friend; watch out for each other.
- When your leaving, don't announce that your walking home alone, Try to walk home with a friend or in a group.
- Don't give a whole lot of information about yourself to a person you just met.
- People can't read your mind. If someone is doing something to you that your not comfortable with say "NO ".
- Always have some taxi money in your pockets in case you want to go home.
- Never walk home through deserted areas like parklands or railroad tracks.
- Do not hitchhike.
|
|
|
|
