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Poems
| You |
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In the dark of my dreams
I hear your voice
It makes me scream
with rage, with fear
I see your face
It makes my skin crawl
with revulsion, with loathing.
I awake with the sun shining
through my windows
You are gone.
I sign
with relief.
-Tricia
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| A Survivors Story - By Sherry Survivor |
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How could you?
When I thought you cared,
A tear in my eye,
Runs slowly down my face,
With each drop,
Hidden,
A child,
Only to weep,
But only unseen,
A child with no works,
To be spoken,
That could be heard,
A child alone,
Her body being misused,
So confused,
A child afraid,
But hidden so deep within herself,
Why didn’t someone see?
A child’s body turned into a toy,
For someone to use,
That I did not enjoy,
A body marked for life,
Grown now,
The body feels numb,
Afraid of touch,
The feeling never goes away,
The tears now puddles,
Still hidden,
Each day a struggle,
It hurts,
With no end to the abuse ahead.
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| Lit Keypad - By Rose Grier ( 2001 ) |
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From the shadows you step
As the bottle blue light exposes you.
I know you were there.
You know it too.
Your scent encircles me.
My breath quickens and
you permeate my senses like liquid smoke.
There is a certain smile on your face
that I remember.
Not touching,
we dance in the alley.
You take the familiar lead
And rape me.
I cry as you type your perversions
in the dark.
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| Protector |
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When I spoke you refused to listen
When my eyes were swollen from crying
You turned you head not to see
When I need your protection
You asked me to protect you.
No more!
Listen to me
See me cry
Feel my pain
The pain you did not try to protect me from.
-Tricia
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| Identification Tag - By Rose E. Grier ( 3/27/01 ) |
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I can see you in a crowd
It doesn't matter where or who you are.
I will always have a certain vision
that enables my energy to recognize
where your soul has been.
It facilitates sovereignty
among us as kindred warriors.
We have wrestled the same rival.
Distinguished our triumph
over diversity's directive.
We stand united, tall and, by God, alive!
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| Childhood Gone - By Sherry Survivor |
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In one day all was gone,
No longer a child,
No longer to play,
The toys put away,
The bicycle to rust away,
A child gone,
No way to return,
A child taken,
Not from home,
But from life,
The only one she knew,
To be lied to,
To be confused,
A child to young to know,
To scared to talk,
A child,
Hidden in a world where nothing made sense,
A child Abused and alone,
Empty and afraid,
With no where to go,
But home,
Where she knew she wouldn’t be safe.
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| The Letter (For Esther) - An enabler's poem ( 11/8/01 ) |
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On the sun shiny days
That clouded over
Dark and deep
Purple blue with olive green,
You fed us cookies and milk
Both warm with a love that was
Familiar.
To start so lucid and pure
You let him touch us
In a way to this day
You steadfastly
Refute
In the face of truth.
Actions initiated by a monster
Certainly not mad by you.
He was allowed to run riot
A chain of horror
To the collective dismay
Of each victim left in a heap.
Ours is not a casual slander.
You must hold in your hand
The blind eye
Of what you let.
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| OXYGEN AT THE SURFACE - By Rose Grier ( 6/14/01 ) |
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I “get” what I’m responsible for
in my own life.
There will be people who will not and
cannot
accept their own.
It can be open and free-flowing or
ever-heavy, ugly and full of strife.
Reliant on what you do and what
you’re being shown.
Life Own Strife Shown
Where do I go when I get bogged
Down with pain
I process to the smallest denominator
Within my control
I shoot to the surface
Where the oxygen is.
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| My Light |
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I feel the blackness coming
I try to hold it back; but it is clawing at me
I feel a knot of fear in my belly.
The blackness is coming
It is enveloping me.
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know how to escape it.
The blackness comes and goes often
usually I can force it away but lately it
has become harder to do.
I cry out for help
but there is no one to hear.
The blackness is coming
Then I see you and the blackness starts to disperse.
As you hold me in your arms the blackness melts away.
You help bring back the light
the light that saves me.
It lifts my spirits and brings a smile to my face.
You do this for me with your strength,
your smile and
your love.
-Tricia
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| April |
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I wear the ribbon
For all the past that never passes us
The weeping, dying masses of us
Needing guidance, strength and reason
With memories committing treason
Against the fight we try to give
To have the strength to live
And not to die at the hands
Of a lullaby-man
Who sang too sweetly and too much
Approaching sanctity to touch
Who came in hazy nightmares
Fawned and fucked and left us there
Leaking in our beds
Again and again.
I wear the ribbon
For all the faces we've lost trust for
The hearts that gradually rust over
That we keep hidden, though still trembling
Should we see a face resembling
A face we tried to forget
That left us bleeding, crying, wet
Struggling to break apart
From one who had our trust and heart
But held our fists together tight
A prince by day, a rogue by night
Leaving us in shame and sorrow
Promising to see us tomorrow
We wipe off the bloodshed
Again and again.
I wear the ribbon
For all the memories we've forced so deep
That jar us from a dreaming sleep
And hold fatigued eyes open wide
Hiding from the crimes inside
And in the day, only vague chills
Of long forgotten, slumbering ills
That throb in us when smells remind
Of clasps undone and hands unkind
And some days we are laying prone
Surrounded by peace and alone
The sensations come on suddenly
And we're raped by the memory
Terrors flare within our heads
Again and again.
So wear the ribbon
For the dream of life not spent in fear
For the hope of one, far-away year
Where children have their carelessness
To run amuck with hair a mess
Where we all have virginity
To give to lovers willingly
And wear it for those who cannot sleep
For those who sit alone and weep
Wear it for the girls who bleed
And for the women carrying forceful seed
I wear it for all that has been seen
I wear it for you, please wear it for me
All of us have bled
Let's not bleed again.
Linda Hildonen
LMCoull@hotmail.com
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